I'm really fucking sick of you shooting down whatever I have to say, especially since I know what I'm talking about when it comes to hondas. I don't give a damn about your piece of shit 4-speed nova or whatever. You haven't researched a quarter as much as I have and you're gonna sit there and try to tell me whats faster in a honda. Give me a fucking break.

Longer geared transmission will be faster? What the fuck ever. Thats NEVER the case. In a quarter mile drag, you wanna get your speed up as quickly as possible by using the most efficient gearing as possible. Hondas make power by revving sky high, so therefore you want a transmission geared to keep you in the high rpm's. If my peak power is 200 at 8k rpm, I wanna be at least around 6k when I upshift. But no, you believe that if you accelerate for longer in 2nd gear, you'll be faster, which will almost always be false. Why do you think people hook up b-series transmissions to h22 motors? Because the h22 transmissions are long and almost drop you out of your power band when you up shift.

Full interior 94 and up integras with a stock h22 motor and transmission run usually 14.2-14.6 on street tires. With the shorter geared b-series transmission, the quarter mile times drop by more than half a second in most cases, which is a big difference. Anybody woud like like drop a half second through a simple transmission switch. But you won't fucking listen to me. Anyone who can put two and two together will understand the concept of faster acceleration means lower quarter mile time. But with you, longer gears equals faster. I can't wait until we both have computers that can run a good racing game so I can show you that I know what makes a car go faster other than fucking power. Its not always about power, its about the tune, the gearing, the suspension, and all the other factors that are involved. But again, you don't fucking listen to me.

And it seems to me that everytime I start to prove you wrong, you switch the subject to something else. Talking about how top fuel dragsters only have 2 gears. I WASN'T FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THAT. I WAS TALKING ABOUT STREET CARS YOU DUMB FUCK. Typical fucking chamoro, can't just listen and take in what someone younger than you has to say. Everyone younger than you is wrong, and you're right. Get the fuck out of your stupid chamoro habits and listen. This is no longer the day and age where kids have to stay quiet. As soon as most kids hit high school, they're really close being smarter than their parents if not smarter already.

But its okay, you're just a drug addict waste case who doesn't look for a job and sleeps all day under the guise of having to take care of the kids when they're gone all day. What the fuck ever man. I thought I was fucking up, but not so much anymore. I guess thats one thing you're fucking good for is making me feel a little better.

This whole fucking family is the same. I wanna change my last name sometimes so I don't have to be a part of this disgrace of a family. Only 2 out of the current lineage actually did something you can say good job too. They don't care about how far I've come in dancing, or what I've done that I'm proud of. All you people care about is me doing something you can brag to your fucking friends about so you can feel good about yourself for those few minutes you're telling them. But if not, you're all about talking shit about me. Are you people still in fucking high school? Still talking shit behind people's backs so you don't have to feel bad about your own short comings? And you fucking wonder why i slice and dice my arm up.

I can't wait to get out of this damn hell hole. I would have preferred to have lived on the streets instead of fucking going through this shit. Here let me break down what you people really are.

Adoptive Father - Drug addict depending on some filipina drug dealer to take care of you
Real Father - Drug addict alcoholic who threatens to kill people
GrandFather - Grumpy old man who talks shit about everyone including his own family
Uncle - Drug User who sleeps all day and is too proud to lower his job standards to support his family
Adoptive Mother - Cream of the crop you could say. Maintained a job and gets her shit done, but is a gold digger
Real Mother - Former Drug addict who doesn't know who to marry

The only adults in this family who i can really say have their shit together and are good people are my sister, my auntie dana, and my grandma. That's it. Everyone else is a waste case.

I really feel like my life is crashing down around me. Oh well, I guess its due. Karma can really fuck you up when you least expect it. But I heard a quote once...

"Whats the difference between school and life? Well school teaches you a lesson then gives you a test, but life gives you a test that teaches you a lesson."

I guess that could be applied, but eh. I never feel like dealing with it, or i'm just not up for it. I wanna help everybody, but I can't even help myself. I can't get over my own bad habits, and I set myself up to fail way too much. I can't even keep a gf anymore. I feel so worthless and depressed. I can hardly stand on my own two feet these days.

She doesn't wanna listen and tellls me to suck it up because its what I did to her. Fair enough, but just because I did it, does not justify you doing it. Are you in it for revenge? To make me feel what you felt? Are those feelings stronger than your love for me? It seems to be the case.

But it doesn't matter, its all my fault regardless. Every situation I come into, is my fault. My fault, my fault, my fault, that's the way it's been my whole life. So fuck it. Blame me, because I'm the bad guy you people need to point your fingers at so you can feel better about yourself.

I'm getting really close to being pushed over the edge, and only look out for myself. Fuck everyone else, you fuck around, you get laid out. End of story. Put a few bullets in yo ass so you shut the fuck up.

These motherfuckers...

Ok you...maybe you did raise me, but that doesn't mean you can take advantage of me and shit like that. You smoked all my cigs and have the nerve to ask if i have anymore. I bought you a pack, i loaned you money, i bought you food, and what do you do? You still come around asking for shit. this is getting ridiculous, I can't stand how you prioritize things. Do you even have priorites? You borrowed money and BLEW IT at the casino. What the fuck is your problem? Either step up with what you're doing now, or get a real fuckin job and pay your bills.

Oh, and you. You live in a room thats like 7x7 at the most, your girlfriend who stays with you has cancer, and you live in a basement. You freeload off of everyone that comes around. Whenever someone comes around with something you want, you magically pop out of the darkness like a fucking troll. You pay rent, but that doesn't count for anything especially since you like to take things without asking, and "borrow" things and pawn them off for your own bad habits.

And you, yeah you have 3 kids you need to watch over, but you aren't even watching them most of the time. Bitching about your back pains, yet you won't even go to the doctor. More concerned about other things that don't really mean shit. You aren't making any money, you aren't doing anything with your life, and the excuse you gave me for why you aren't doing anything is now null. You have 2 kids living with you, and one is coming back soon and hwo the fuck are you helping support them? Your wife is bringing home the bacon, and you just eat it up like nothing. Maybe I do the same thing, but I haven't been in washington for even 3 months, but managed to get an interview somewhere, it may not be the best, but its soemthing. More than you can ever say for yourself.

I need to get the fuck out of this place before I let everyone have it and report these people to the authorities and hav ethem all locked up. Maybe that will snap some sense into them. I dont care if they are my elders, what they're doing is worth any respect what so ever. You're a grown ass fucking man, and you're still borrowing ppl money. Give me a fucking break!